he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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