there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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