one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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