are you still at the devil's house?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
