Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
