It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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