I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
