What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish you could order shots online.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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