Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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