I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
