I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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