It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
