There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
