4 words: hood of his car
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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