i think my mom watched the whole time
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
