that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We left the knife in your bed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
