Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
