im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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