So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize