is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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