do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
