Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
