she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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