Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level

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(979): View more from Texas

we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?

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(956): View more from Texas

You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.

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(786): View more from Florida

She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

(305): View more from Florida

I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

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(563): View more from Iowa

You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.

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(956): View more from Texas

Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.

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(310): View more from California

I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.

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(315): View more from New York

Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.

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(802): View more from Vermont

How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him

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