I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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