is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
