She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
