Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
