does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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