I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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