My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
