and you said cock pushups were impossible
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
