u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I skipped work to stalk him.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Dicks are not precious.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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