Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
where are you?
Hypothermia
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
