Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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