I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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