So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
