i jhust puked up my retainher.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
