Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
