I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
