I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
