Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize