we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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