You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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