Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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