I'm laying in your front yard are you home
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
