Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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