he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
