I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Randomize
