Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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