So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
