I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Boobs speak an international language.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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