Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
