this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
