things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
