you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
