what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
