Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
