Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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