We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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