could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize